A few weekends ago, I was on a retreat with the exec board of one of the clubs at the Y that I run. The retreat was held at Kanata, and it was great to be back. Though it wasn't the summer, just being at camp brings back so many memories, because so much of my life has been lived there. It still felt like home. Which I expected.

What I didn't expect was that when I took my club into arts & crafts, and we sat down on the floor, late one night, that emotion would overtake me like it did. As I explained to my kids why I had brought them there--that I wanted them to see the names painted all over the walls, that made up this beautiful picture of why people come back to camp summer after summer--the tears started streaming down my face.

As we talked about our vision for our club and our year, and as we looked around at the names--names of my counselors, my name, my friends names, names of my campers who are now counselors--we talked about leaving a legacy. We talked about how we could run the best meetings, or have the best teen center, or the most fun social events, but how, without the people, no one would want to come back.

I look back on my many summers at camp, and I don't think about the facilities or the activities that I did. I think about the people and the relationships that changed my life, and how all those memories, concentrated in 150 acres, make camp what it is for me. The reason I feel at home when I turn on that gravel driveway are the memories of all of my life that was lived right there.

Everybody Wins... Or Do They?

In the 8 or so years since I started working at summer camps and afterschool programs, I've heard the phrase "everybody wins" more times than I can count. Maybe the counselor forgot to keep score; maybe it wasn't quite clear who won, maybe they knew that they had a kid who would get really upset if they lost, or maybe they just said it because they'd heard it said so many times before. I'm sure I've said it a few times myself. But recently I've been hearing the phrase "everybody wins" a lot more than ever before, and every time I hear it, I cringe a little bit.

What are we teaching kids when we tell them that "everybody wins"? I'm not usually an incredibly competitive person--though I do have a competitive side that comes out every now and then--and I think that there is value in sometimes playing just to play, no keeping score. But when we start teaching kids that everyone wins, and therefore no one loses--will they know how to lose graciously later on in life? Nobody can win all of the time, and if we are teaching kids that they can, are we setting them up to fail?

I was in a meeting recently where someone was discussing a camp that had counselors at the archery range who would stand beside a kid who was struggling and shoot at the same time so that the kid would think they hit the target. I had a huge issue with this. Yes--it is a great feeling for a kid to hit the archery target. But if they didn't hit it on their own, it takes away the sense of accomplishment for all the kids who worked hard to hit the target on their own, and if the camper realizes the counselor did it for them, they lose confidence in themselves. Obviously we want to set kids up for success at camp, but there are great ways to set kids up for success without faking it.

One of the great things about camp is that it teaches kids so many life skills. Independence, friendships, responsibility, and a sense of community are all things that we tend to be intentional about teaching kids at camp. But what if we started being more intentional about teaching kids to lose graciously? What if we spent more time intentionally teaching campers that everything isn't always going to be easy, but that sometimes the things we work the hardest for are the things that end up meaning the most to us?

Summer Camps and Twitter

@CampLeadership and I co-wrote some written advice over at CampLeadership on summer camps using twitter--check it out here!

Memories

Staff week at Camp Kanata started today. This is the first staff week since 2003 that I haven't been at, and while I'm enjoying staff training and all of the preparations for Finley Day Camp--which starts in one week!--I would be lying if I said that I didn't spend a lot of time today thinking about what's going on over at Kanata.

As we've been going through day camp training over the past few weeks, my mind has often drifted back to Kanata. As excited as I am for this summer at FDC, it is hard to believe I won't be spending this summer walking the familiar paths and singing the songs and cheers I know so well. At our association day camp rally this past weekend, the Kanata director led everyone in "Vista"--one of the songs sung in the dining hall every Friday night--and so many Friday nights in the Kanata dining hall flashed through my head--standing on the benches, singing til my voice hurt, a little relieved that I was going to get to do my laundry and sleep the next day, but also a little sad because another week of camp was over.

Around this time of year, I always start measuring time by what is going on at camp--it isn't 1:30, it's rest period. This year I have a new schedule, and a new camp, but I know every year as summer rolls around, a piece of my heart will go back to Kanata and the memories of Makeover Mondays, daisy cheers, Friday night campfires, late nights hanging out in camp store, hours spent by the lake, and the best summers of my life.

The Test of Time

Last weekend was the leadership staff retreat for the day camp that I am working at this summer. It was great to meet everyone that I'll be working with and to start to find out some of the details of what this summer will be like, but for me, the best part of the retreat was getting to learn a little bit of the history of the camp. To wrap up our retreat, we had the opportunity to have brunch with the original director, and two of the staff who were around at the beginning--25 years ago.

Hearing their memories and stories of camp definitely got me excited for the summer, and it was great to start to understand the culture and background of FDC. The thing that struck me the most, though, was how clearly camp was impressed on these three people who worked there before I was born. They still had such a clear understanding of their vision, their purpose, and the impact that camp has both on campers and staff. Talking to them, you'd think that they'd worked at camp last summer, not 25 years ago.

One thing that our conversation touched on several times was how well working at summer camp had prepared them for their future. Again and again, they came back to how the things they had learned as camp staff had affected the rest of their lives--whether a teacher, a minister, or a stay at home mom, the experience had impacted them long beyond the time they were spending their summers in the woods, cheering 'til they had no voice, and leading kids in all kinds of crazy activities.

One of the greatest things about summer camp (day or resident), for whoever participates (camper or staff), is what an impact it can have on your life. Camp touches some peoples lives more than others, but for those of us who really fall in love with it... our lives will never be the same!

Makeover Monday

One of my FAVORITE things I did as a camp counselor was "Makeover Mondays". I was a counselor in the youngest girls cabin, and every Monday, cabin time was a huge hit with our campers.

What we would do:

1. Collect a bunch of makeup. Lots of nail polish, ridiculous eye shadow, outrageous lipstick colors, anything else we could find.

2. Spread it all out on the picnic table.

3. Give the campers free reign to give the counselors makeovers. Nails, hair, makeup--all fair game.

4. Go to lunch and show off our fabulous new looks. It usually looked a little something like this...

Campers often came back the next summer asking when we would get to do makeovers again, and they LOVED showing off their work to the rest of camp!

Saying Goodbye

In May, I'm starting a new job with the Y. Just 20 or so minutes down the road from where I am now--a great place, great people, a great job. I'm SO excited about it... it is a great opportunity for me, and I'm excited to get started. But starting a new job means leaving a place I love so much--and that is hard. I've been working at Kanata for about 1/3 of my life, and it is so much of who I am. I have learned so much from my time there, have met so many people that have changed my life, and have made so many memories that I will cherish forever. It will always be a part of me.

This weekend we had a mini-camp, and I was sitting down at the lake, watching campfire skits, as I have spent so many summer nights doing. Sitting there, surrounded by campers, watching the fire, singing familiar songs, and feeling so at home, I couldn't keep the tears from coming. I'm so excited about the future and about the new challenge of working at a great day camp this summer, but I know that every Friday night during the summer for years to come, my thoughts will drift over to the campfire that is going on down by the lake at a place that I love with all my heart.

There is no way that I can put into words all that Kanata has been for me and done for me, but it has shaped my life in so many ways, and it will always have a huge part of my heart... every year as the weather gets warmer and summer starts to roll around, I know I'll be going to Kanata in my mind.